Once upon a time, if I wanted to get in touch with someone, I had two or three options — a phone call, a letter, maybe a fax if I was feeling fancy. Now? I can email, text, WhatsApp, Messenger, Instagram DM, send a LinkedIn message, drop something into Teams, ping them on Slack, leave a voice note, or book a Zoom. I could even send an old-school postcard, just to be ironic.
You’d think all this choice would make it easier to connect. But honestly? I find it harder to get replies than ever. I can send a message on the exact app someone uses all day, and… nothing. No acknowledgement, no emoji, no “will reply later.” Just silence.
I’ve been wondering why.
Part of it is message overload — we’re all juggling so many notifications that our brains go into survival mode, ignoring half of them. Then there’s platform fatigue — too many channels, too many passwords, too many pings. And I suspect shifting norms play a role too: ghosting isn’t even seen as rude anymore; it’s just “how it is.”
Here’s the thing: it’s OK to say “I’m busy”. It’s OK to reply with, “I can’t get to this right now, but I’ll circle back.” That two-second message is worth its weight in gold. It keeps the conversation alive, even if the full reply has to wait.
I can’t pretend I’m innocent here. I’ve opened a message, meaning to reply later, only to forget about it entirely. By the time I remember, it feels awkward to respond — like showing up late to a party and hoping no one notices.
So I’m trying to change a few things:
- Stick to one main channel per person or project, so messages don’t get lost in the noise
- Putting the purpose up front, especially in the first sentence.
- Giving a time frame if I need a reply: “Can you let me know by Friday?” works far better than vague hope.
- Keep my own replies short and focused — I’m more likely to hear back if I make it easy for the other person.
I'm not perfect and I remind myself — and others — that a quick “I’m busy” is perfectly fine.
We may live in an age of unlimited communication tools, but maybe the real skill now is knowing how — and when — to use them.
And we'll be more intentional and help hear back from the people we're reaching out to.
