We live in a world overflowing with communication tools. We can call, text, email, emoji, Zoom, DM, voice note — or just remain silent. With all these options, you’d think we’d be excellent at connecting with each other.
And yet… we’re not.
When communication goes wrong: everyday examples
We’ve all been there:
- An email reads as passive-aggressive, though you meant it to be polite.
- A “K” text sparks a minor cold war.
- A Zoom call becomes a talk-fest with no real listening.
- Silence is misread as anger instead of thoughtfulness.
- A thumbs-up emoji causes offense across cultural lines.
- A “read” message leaves someone hanging — and stewing.
With so many ways to communicate, it’s baffling how easily we still miss each other.
Why we get it wrong
Despite good intentions, we often fumble our communication. Why?
- We make assumptions — hearing through our own filters and past experiences.
- We protect our egos — speaking to defend ourselves rather than connect.
- We prioritise speed over reflection — replying fast, not well.
- We’re unsure how to clarify — fearing awkwardness, we let misunderstandings grow.
- We pick the wrong platform — using Slack for emotion, or email for urgency.
How to choose the right communication tool
Here's a simple guide to choosing the right communication method:
Best for formal updates, documentation, and non-urgent queries.
Avoid: emotional nuance or immediate decisions.
Text/SMS
Great for quick updates and logistics.
Avoid: sensitive or complex conversations.
WhatsApp/Signal
Ideal for group chats, sharing images or quick thoughts.
Avoid: confidential or deeply personal matters.
Slack/Teams
Perfect for project updates and async collaboration.
Avoid: resolving conflict or building trust.
Zoom/Video Calls
Best for brainstorming, serious chats, or human connection.
Avoid: short answers or simple info sharing.
Phone Calls
Great for urgent or emotional matters.
Avoid: showing visuals or spanning time zones.
Voice Memos
Useful when tone matters and typing is tough.
Avoid: when you don’t know if the person has time to listen.
Social Media DMs
Fine for casual networking or quick hellos.
Avoid: anything sensitive, complex, or boundary-heavy.
Project Tools (e.g. Trello, Asana)
Brilliant for managing tasks and deadlines.
Avoid: building rapport or handling conflict.
How to communicate better in five simple ways
- Listen to understand, not just to respond.
- Don’t rehearse your reply while the other person is still talking.
- Be curious, not correct. Ask “Can you clarify?” instead of jumping to conclusions.
- Use fewer words with more intention. Clear > clever. Human > polished.
- Normalise miscommunication. Try: “I may not have said that well — let me try again.”
- Pause more. Silence isn’t awkward — it’s where real meaning can settle.
- Promise less, deliver more. Enlight your client by delivering more and/or earlier than they expect.
Let’s stop asking how and start asking why
The irony? We’ve never had more ways to communicate — yet many people feel more misunderstood and disconnected than ever.
Communication isn’t about pushing messages into the void. It’s about mutual understathending.
So maybe real question isn’t:
“How many ways can we communicate?”
…but rather:
“Why don't we do more to truly connect?”
